Sharing the News

Let me start this post by saying in the past Mike hasn't really asked that many questions about did I get my period yet....I kept telling him I was crampy, etc. I didn't want to outright lie, but it's definitely been tough. He would keep asking and I would say things like "well I'm crampy and bitchy, what do you think?" He has probably asked at least twice a day for the last week. The last three times he has asked I have known. I've avoided it best I could...hoping he couldn't suspect.

Okay...so time to tell Mike! My father has always had this thing that sometimes the packaging of the gift is just as much fun as the gift itself. Not like pretty ribbons and bows (definitely not his thing). I remember this when I was in HS and I always got 1 "big" Christmas present. He liked to be crafty, so sometimes there would be a box in the bottom of my stocking that had me go looking for something. Sometimes there was a theme (although once it wasn't a big gift and the theme was "all things you can put in your purse" and I was guessing things like spa day...felt bad that he might think that the gifts weren't as cool because they were just lotions for your purse not a day at the spa). This has developed into a war. This year it took him about 15 minutes to unwrap the present Mike and I gave him. It was a lump of growing coal. haha. It was wrapped in so many layers (duct tape, newspaper, saran wrap, aluminum foil). Mike in turn had a scavenger hunt (although my Mom didn't follow Dad's directions so it wasn't too hard to find...Dad not happy).

The prep to get this ready took much longer than I anticipated and it was 7:30 before we ate and started the "show". We ate on the deck in the dark...yay well. :). In the family tradition here was how the evening unfolded:
1. Dinner of baby items (baby back ribs, baby potatoes, salad of baby spinach and baby carrots...with baby apple juice - although I didn't name any of these items to him). On a side note ran into my parents while shopping for these items...holy heck that was nerve racking.
2. After dinner told Mike that I had a belated birthday surprise (not gift) for him.
3. Sent him on a scavenger hunt around the house. Each clue led to a piece of a puzzle and another clue.
4. Once all the pieces were found, Mike had to assemble the "puzzle" (okay so it was a half sheet of paper I cut into seven parts). This had "October 21" (the date of the first ultrasound on it". I told him this, along with his dinner, was part of his "surprise". He was clueless!!
5. On the back of the puzzle was the last clue...to take him to his surprise. He had to wait to open the box until he brought it to the table. Inside the box (unwrapped shoe box...) was a 3-6 months Eagles baby tee, a basketball rattle, and a print of the book that I "ordered" for him.

The first thing he said was "You think?" then, in the box, I pulled out the positive pregnancy test. I must say this was kind of a strange moment. I don't think that either one of us knew what to do. He did his aww shucks goofy surprised "act". Then we hugged. It was so much fun showing him, but, I'll be honest - I'm not good with emotional moments so the build up and the after math didn't really match.

Mike is really excited though. The timing worked out well because he is really good about his job right now. I'm excited to not have to keep it a secret from him anymore!!

Strangely though, I feel like all we should talk about is the pregnancy but we don't really have much to talk about yet....

Good night!

Saying it Out Loud...and Other Worries

Okay, well, I'm definitely pregnant. I called my OB today to make my appointments. They make you freakin' wait until 8+ weeks. That's annoying. I'm not very good at waiting. I want to go go go!!! I am a planner. I love planning. Now I have to wait until October 14..what???? Also annoyed because they acted like I was requesting an audience with the Pope when I requested an afternoon appointment. Both Mike and I are teachers and it's really a pain to take time off from school, you can't just take a long lunch break, has to be a whole half day. Got her to conceed to 2:30 for the first appointment (no time off of school, yay!) and 1:00 for the second (1/2 day, boo!). Already have a countdown going. Called the rheumatologist also. Just to let her know and because I have a couple concerns about some blood work that was bad in the past.

So the Doctor's receptionists, these were the first people I told. First times I said it out loud. Still didn't sink in. Very worried though because I've been really crampy. I know miscarriage is like 30% in the first trimester, well depends on where you read. Some say that it is only 10-15% of confirmed pregnancies (although confirmed by who, I'm not sure) and that the rest occur before a pregnancy test is even taken. Afraid to even tell Mike if it turns out that I'm miscarrying right now. Called a friend from college who is in her residency in OB and it was the first time I said it outloud. You would be surprised at how freakin' hard it was to say. This was someone real. Someone who knows me...made it so much more real. I really froze when trying to get the words "I'm pregnant" out. She allayed my concerns and also warned that sex might bring bleeding. She said probably not to be concerned unless there is cramping and heavy bleeding (like multiple tampons). No bleeding. Feel much better...but not completely....You just never know.

Longest Night Ever

Could not sleep last night. I'm a big sleeper. My ideal would be to be in bed around 930 and asleep by 10. I get up for work between 6 and 630 (I need lots of sleep as does Mike). At 1230 I was still wide awake. Felt like my heart was racing. Turned the TV on and thank goodness for random friends episodes. I was asleep just when that show with Jim Belushi came on at 1.

So, tested as soon as Mike left this morning! Don't have a ton of time in the AM because I like to sleep. Decided that I would take the top off of our shaving gel rinse/wash it and pee into that. Read online that some people found this easier. Kind of weird. Dipped the stick in and TWO VERY PINK LINES SHOWED UP. This is it. Definitely yes. Didn't really have time to sit and let it sink in because, as usual, I'm running late for school.

I don't even think I know what I'm feeling right now...but this is crazy exciting!

The NEWS

Stopped at CVS after open house tonight. Feeling pretty sexy as I walked in wearing my heels and dress, I must say! Decided that I still didn't have my period and that the OB would need a positive pregnancy test anyways. Took the test when I got home and holy shit it was positive. Here's the thing though. Box says to pee on the stick (which is really gross). Now, with the frequent battery of tests that I have I'm used to peeing in a cup. Okay, peeing on a stick isn't the same thing. There is definitely more aim involved (hit the stick, not your hand, while making sure you hold it in the correct direction). I'm only tentatively thinking it is positive though because after my initial misses in hitting the stick I'm worried I peed on it for more than 5 seconds. Does that matter? Those are the directions on the box. What I do know is that the test took about 3 seconds to change. What an amazing thing to see those two little pink lines appear. Really hope that I didn't mess up the test. I used to think "how dumb can you be" when people talked about not taking the test correctly. Now I get it. Must hide this test from Daddy-to-be (hopefully!) and take another one in the AM.

Dr. Visit (Dated 9/17)

So went to the Doc today. She drew out all of the fluid and injected steroids. As it turns out you are not supposed to use lidocaine during pregnancy, so just in case she didn't use it. You know what they use instead? Frostbite in a can. Yup, I was given frostbite. It was very cold and mildly painful. Overall it wasn't a horrible experience. No explanation though...kind of frustrating. She continues on this path that says if i get pregnant that the sarcoid might get better. She also says that although I feel like I'm getting my period that this could definitely pregnancy. Two facts do not go together. If I am pregnant then why is the sarcoid acting up now? Who knows. Anyways, have to work a cross country meet tonight and then also go to Open House. Might just take a pregnancy test as I should have gotten my period on Tuesday...but it might not come until tomorrow (Friday).

Today is the Day

Okay, so today is the day I should be getting my period. Used mymonthlycycle.com to track for the last several months and it says 29 days. Good news is that I took some Midol and am feeling much less bitchy than I was yesterday!!! Midol is a miracle drug. Unfortunately all these symptoms mean that I am probably getting my period. Used the "just in case" method of using a tampon before getting my period because, well, when you teach you can't just run to the bathroom any old time. My body makes me so mad though because several times I went to the bathroom sure that I needed to change and I knew (you know...) that my period had not actually started. Why does the body do this? It's like dangling this carrot out in front of me....you might be pregnant...you might be pregnant. So not nice! Unfortunately I'm a realistic dreamer, meaning that I am very good at getting my hopes up emotionally while my brain knows the real story and won't let me forget it....yay well. I love the waiting game with your period...even if you aren't waiting to be pregnant!

Waiting waiting waiting

So, I think the worst part of this whole pregnancy thing might have to be the waiting to find out. Every little thing you feel could be your period or pregnancy. My body gives out some pretty typical signs. (1) Bitchiness. Well, have that one down. Flipped out at lunch today over something that did make me mad....and I had had a bad morning. Still, definitely out of control anger. This is a telltale period sign for me. (2) Cramps. We all know what those are like. Definitely have them. (3) Overall crumminess and ickiness...got it. So, it seems like I will be getting my period this week. Should be tomorrow but with the stress of school might be slightly longer.

I hate women who say they just know. No they don't. They just guessed lucky. The odds are in your favor that it will happen in the first three months...and pretty high even in the first month. I think it also annoys me because I thought I "just knew" last time and I turned out to be wrong. The body is a cruel cruel thing. Waiting, also a cruel thing. I wish there was just some tell tale sign as soon as it happened (other than, of course, getting your period). You know like some sort of alarm inside your body that says "I'm here Mom!". Something distinctly not period like and not a bad sign either. Like a faint tattoo in the shape of a heart magically appears on your stomach. That would be sweet. Doesn't work that was though and pretty much all the signs could be pregnancy. Everythign can be attributed to something...implantation cramping, hormone changes for moodiness. I guess it's probably very similar to your body as when you are having your period.

I personally think it is just wishful thinking that I might be pregnant. Meanwhile it's like every other thought in my head....aye aye aye. I could take an early pregnancy test as the doc suggested...but...I want to hold on to my hopes for as long as possible. You don't know either, those tests might not be right. Plus, missing your period seems a pretty surefire way to find out. At least it's only a few more days now.